I'm lost, even though the star on the map says i'm here...

The End.... ?

Well, that is it folks.

The day in the life of this Air Traffic Control Student has come to an end.

Was it worth the effort? Yes.
Did i put effort into it? You better believe it.
Do i have any regrets? Definitly not.

Why would i say the whole effort was worth it, even though i walked out with no career.I've noticed a lot of mixed review on this topic. It does suck that i had to leave as soon as i did, i'll be the first to admit to that. But what doesn't suck is the fact that i met some solid people, i learned a lot about myself during that short stint, and i feel that after all of what happened, i'm able to go on and do what i want, with a lot more confidence having faced one of the greatest challenges of my life.

Now what.

Well, first things first, sleep in. Alongside that, with my window open... ahh.. bliss.

Secondly, eat some Kraft Dinner and hotdogs. Sweet.

Thirdly, find a job that suits my persona. That's the tough part. Mainly because I had convinced myself that ATC was the way to go. Shame on me. Never have i forgotten about the other possibilities out there, but this time i did.

So now what.
I'm at square one.
No career and unsure what to do.
Unsure what I want to do.
The pressure's on.

Shame on me.

The world is now my oyster. Baby boomers are retiring in the next 10 years. The whole job market is open.

So now what.

I know what i'd like to do, but this goes way beyond a career, it puts any personal agenda out of the picture.
I'd put almost anything on the line for it. Now is that worth a cause. I dunno. It all depends on the "subject" at hand. I'd hate for it to be a lost cause, but the "subject" has, and continues to put all else before itself, and this "subject" deserves the same as given out.

I just only hope it is worth the while.
Not for my sake, i have no plan right now.
I just believe in what comes around, goes around.

For all you ATC nerds out there.... IFR301 contact Charlie Bravo at 356.6 NOW.
Look it up, then look me up.

That that ends my online diary of being an ATC Student.
Stay tuned for a new post of my online diary of just being me.

Take care.

Do you know everything?

DAY BEFORE THE TEST

"As if you don't know that." Been hearing a lot of that in the past few days.

Here's a little piece, in no particular form, I will call....

Something for the know-it-alls:

I know you know .

but do you really know that

different folks have different strokes.

I get a really bad feeling when you talk

You are just so perfect

You praise yourself, you raise the bar

Puff up your ego to make you look good

but you really look like a chump.

So it takes me a little more to catch on

Yeah I'll feed your ego, tell you how good you are

but I've seen your type before,

they grow old and lonely because

noone can step up to the standards.

So use me to boost that ego

it doesn't matter to me since I have none.

but the next time I hear those words

ill tell you to save your breath,

unless you are part of the solution

why be a source of the problem.

Thought of the day

If a person feels more intelligent, do they look more intelligent?
And if they do look more intelligent, does that increase their sex appeal?

Let me know the next time you see me.

Pessimist or Optimist?

What am I classified as?

Make your own decision on that, but I feel that I am a Realist.

What brings that question up. Lately I've come to terms with the fact that I might not be able to finish this course. I believe I have the capability to finish, but I won't discredit the fact that I might not be fit to finish.

I have a drive to finish what I have started.

The only thing that could possibly/will hold me back, is the discretion of my instructors which have 25+ years experience who are set in their ways, and how things are done back at their "home" location, which is creating a lot of conflict between my instructors, and a lot of stress on the student side of things. Bullshit politics, with stubborn old men as the mediators between what they are trying to teach us, and our future.

I have 2 instructors from Montreal, 1 from Gander, and a course director from who knows where (because we never see or hear from him), and besides the 2 from Montreal, they all contradict each other, and actually fight about the "right way" to do things.

They all talk about the "right way". But I'll talk about the "Wrong Way".

That reminds me...

Let's do some study review, for my memory recall and for you to have a very, very, small taste of what I have to learn.

MANOPS 423.something
When an aircraft is at an altitude inappropriate to the direction to flight:

1. Instruct an aircraft to give position reports

2. Indicate an altitude is "Wrong Way" when:
a) Passing or receiving a control estimate
b) Giving or receiving a radar hand-off
c) Co-ordinating with the adjacent sector/unit

3. Post warning indicators by circling an altitude in red on the appropriate flight progress strip.

Well, enough with that.

The "Wrong Way" I was talking about was to let your students see the animosity between the very people in which we are basing a career on. So no matter what you are teaching us, it's not going to be the right way irregardless. So what I get out of that is why bother trying if you are going to be wrong anyways? But I still try.

All I want to do is finish.

23yr/old SWM, looking for solace. Call me at NavCanada if you have some insight.

Dream Catcher

The End of Week 5

I woke up this morning, which was good.

How I woke up, was not.

Been having these "CT Dreams" lately, and I haven't been the only one. We're calling them dreams, but in reality, they are borderline nightmares. Un-nerving, weird, and just plain annoying. Every time I've had one of these dreams I wake up feeling discouraged and annoyed with my deepest subconscious.

Are you mad that I'm bombarding you with information? Giving you the best workout you've ever had? Let's get this straight, the less sleep you let me have, the more information I'll feed you. Time to compromise.

Intermission/Topic Change (insert elevator music here)

I have a new friend who's sharing my room.

His name's Spanky.

(I suppose that sounds pretty bad but...)

He's a fish, he's red, and I really have no idea if it is a he.

I sit in my uncomfortable chair, at my desk, stare at my books for 12 hours, while he swims around contently, silently watching this human recite MANOPS to himself. Ignorance is bliss.

Feels like the both of us have some things in common. Both confined to our quarters in a fish-bowl environment which is cleaned often enough by someone else, with the same food, same sights, some exercise, seems pretty mundane after a while.

Intermission/Topic Change (more bad music here)

Now on a serious note, I've had a few comments made questioning my mental health.

DISCLAIMER:

I am sane. I am doing okay.

From all the serious studying which has never been a part of the equation of my life, I need a break, a release, to let the deepest thoughts come out, and blowing them totally out of proportion. I'm hoping by doing this, I'm getting all the ideas out of my sub-conscious, therefore deleting/attempting to prevent, my "CT Dreams."

So fear not all you out there... If I weird you out, or scare you somehow, don't take it to heart.

Take it at face value,

it's entertainment for me to write,

and hopefully the same on the other side.